Melissa Can’t Explain It at All: The Real Reason Why Melissa Joan Hart’s Kickstarter Project Failed

Several days ago I argued that Hollywood stars should be forced to used Kickstarter to fund their projects. It was in response to Ken Levine’s post decrying Zach Braff’s use of the fundraising site for his latest proposed project.

One Hollywood star who took up the Kickstarter idea was Melissa Joan Hart, who was best known for starring in ABC’s “Sabrina the Teenage Witch.” She just canceled her Kickstarter for a proposed film project called Darci’s Walk of Shame after raising only 2.6% of her goal of $2 million.

We didn’t launch it correctly. What we failed to do was let the fans know exactly what the project was. If we were to go back, what I would do is either shoot five minutes of the movie or have a full cast. We thought we could do it based on ‘Hey, here’s Melissa. You’ve liked what she’s done, check out what she’s going to do next.

Hart, along with entertainment writers blogging on this catastrophe, emphasized the promotional approach as to why the fundraiser failed. Seemingly taking the cues, she explained to the Los Angeles Times:

“We didn’t give them the two things it takes to sell a movie: a poster and a trailer,” she said. “I really think that’s where we missed the boat.”

That might be true for sci-fi, horror and sexploitation. Indeed, a poster was a starting point in developing some classic films from American International Pictures.

But we’re talking a different type of movie here, and the big problem was that it had to be explained to someone other than a Hollywood exec who can just throw a check your way and think nothing else of it. Hart had to explain it to us. Most of us don’t have the expendable cash to give for what comes off in the Kickstarter description as a vanity project.

Other entertainment blogs can talk about her lack of a trailer, poster, her non-cult celeb status or even the goofy promise of following an investor on Twitter for a year, but what was the real reason this Kickstarter failed?

The premise sucked. It sucked lemons. HARD.

I urge you to click here and read the description for yourself if you haven’t already. If I had any potential money invested in this particular project, I would have asked the following questions:

1) “Darci Baker is a thirty-something schoolteacher who’s really looking forward to traveling with her boyfriend to attend her sister’s wedding in Thailand.”

Was there any footage of how Darci was able to afford a trip to Thailand on a teacher’s salary, or did she have a second and/or third job we don’t know about?

2) And why Thailand? Is that why the goal was set at $2 million? How is the exotic locale going to play as a character and not just wallpaper in a movie about a woman who travels thousands of miles to have a one-night stand? And in that context, why choose a country notorious for its sex trafficking? Will Gary Glitter make a cameo?

3) In the description, Darci is 30+ years old, lost her job, lost her boy friend to infidelity and somehow still has to explain herself to her family and friends about not having a casual fling? Is this a supposed model for independent women? Are you sure she’s 30? With this build up, the film that should have been pitched was Darci’s Walk of Fuck Y’All, I’m Gonna Make Jenna Jameson Look Like a Nun.

4) So what’s the conclusion after the “Walk of Shame?” Darci says a few lines and that’s it? Because that seriously should mean the end of the movie and she can run off with that waiter and open a Thai dating service. (Was I close to guessing the end of the movie?)

This premise was a turd so terrible that Meryl Streep couldn’t get it funded if she offered to drop salary for it. The Kickstarter went exactly as it should have and helps prove the point I made earlier that the stars should come to us directly for their next pitches. Hart came to us and we responded with a resounding ‘NO!”

If Katherine Heigl made other movies just like the description of Darci’s Walk of Shame, as IndieWire suggested, it should give Hart hope. Some Hollywood dumbass with a checkbook is bound to come up with the green for this lousy idea. Who knows? Maybe the publicity with this Shitstarter is enough to get a cable TV movie deal in the works. That way, the investment pain is spread evenly and “silently” to all cable subscribers.

 

 

Is Another Historic Chicago Movie Theater About to Be Restored and Saved?

There’s word from the Foster Design Build LLC Facebook site that positive talks are underway with 11th Ward Alderman James Balcer to restore the historic Ramova Theater in the Bridgeport neighborhood:

Had a great meeting today with City of Chicago Alderman James Balcer of the 11th ward, to discuss the possibility of Foster Design Build renovating the historic Ramova Theater in the Bridgeport neighborhood. Looking forward to continuing the discussion and hopefully finding a way to renovate this magnificent theater.

Definitely looks like it was a magnificent theater at one time. With its Spanish courtyard overtones, I could almost imagine Don Quixote riding  through its halls.

Opened in 1929, the same year as its sibling theater Music Box, Ramova was actually a larger theater, holding 1500. Having another indie theater in Chicago would be an added plus for the city, showing the country we’re serious about having a variety of  movies remaining as big screen entertainment.

Foster Design Build, which has a portfolio located here, seems like a solid choice for this undertaking. They currently are renovating the famed “Franks Residence,” home of Bobby Franks, the young boy kidnapped and murdered in the infamous Leopold & Loeb case.

One suggestion to Foster Design (should they get a contract for the renovation): please be sure to leave plenty of room upfront for live entertainment, so as to help create a space for a variety of acts.

If you want to encourage Alderman Balcer on this project, contact him here.

Ken Levine is Wrong: Zach Braff Should Be Forced to Use Kickstarter. Here’s Why…

Make him do it.

Ken Levine wrote a blog post that went viral about how Zach Braff shouldn’t use Kickstarter, because he’s too well connected to use a fundraiser site meant for the starving artist. I understand the argument, but this notion that Kickstarter is cloaked in some golden glow of altruism is rather laughable.

Kickstarter is fundraising tool, not a shrine shut off to all but members only. Of course someone well off is going to eventually try his or her hand at it, if not Zach Braff, then someone else. Mr. Levine also has to remember that Kickstarter is not only used by struggling artists, but also by those who want investors for new products. Indeed, one of the most successful Kickstarter campaigns is for an E-Paper Watch, which garnered over 10,000% of the original goal.  It’s ludicrous to believe that tech companies won’t take notice and, if they do, expect to be warded off by hordes of  ”indie investors” or their supporters crying foul.

If Ken Levine is so incensed by a well-off Hollywood type asking for money, then the best advice is the one he’s already following: don’t give money.  There are Kickstarters that fail–I would introduce Ken to the wonderful and hilarious Shitstarter, which compiles truly awful Kickstarter campaigns. If starry-eyed people want to waste their hard-earned dollars on big name projects, because they naively hope, as Levine infers, that they’ll hobnob and dine with the Hollywood elites, let them. To quote Suzanne Finnemore, “Delusion detests focus and romance provides the veil.”

I am, in fact, completely in favor of more transparency with investment monies given to movies. I want Zach Braff, Harvey Weinstein or any other Kickstarter recipient to answer from groups of investors when he makes a shitty movie. Having Kickstarter investors actually feel the loss of a bad investment I think is a good thing. Hollywood films are so divorced from your own artistic hunger and are so perfectly and systematically distanced from you personally that your only recourse for bad cinema is badmouthing it to your friends, skewering it publicly on blogs or asking for your money back from the cinema (good luck with that).

You shouldn’t have to hound the theater for your $12 back. You and other fellow investors should be able to follow the producer in every public appearance and ask why he took your investments and turned them in dogshit. Turn his next PR appearance into a townhall meeting shitstorm demanding your investment back. You probably won’t get it, but the headlines will certainly bite the producer in the ass. Let those producers know that if they invest via Kickstarter, they’ll be playing a different game. Not one which checks are written in closed rooms without a second thought given to the outcome, but instead one where the producers will be quite intimidated by average Joes to whom they’ll have to answer.

Levine is right about helping out independent filmmakers whenever possible. It’s a great idea. But even here, he misses the point on how to best do this.

Just as you can do for your produce, for the best arts results–go local.

Here in Chicago, I know two filmmakers who made feature length films for very little money. They, instead, used the time, energy and geniuses of other talents to make great looking films like The Pink Hotel and Sci Fi Sol (disclosure: the latter film is a production of this site, The Underground Multiplex).  Chris Hefner, the director of The Pink Hotel and the upcoming The Poisoner, told me in an interview that he made both features for practically nothing. Instead of a lot of cash, he bartered goods and services and even gained the assistance of an alderman who knows the value of having great art created locally.

The biggest mistake we can keep telling future filmmakers is that the only way to make feature films is to chase money. Don’t get me wrong, Kickstarter and other online fundraisers are great. But convincing artists that this method, or pitching movies with the big boys via festivals are the only ways to get your movie made is being disingenuous.  With technology and resources available to make movies very cheaply (we made Sisters of No Mercy 3D, a feature-length film for less than $200), this endeavor is open to more people with more ideas and more stories to tell than ever before. The real trick is to get the audience deeply engaged and the best way to do that is to find your local artists and filmmakers, meet them and support them and your local indie theaters.

Lew Ojeda
(I’ll be presenting a wild show on Saturday night, May 11th in Chicago, “The Ben & Arthur Interactive Cinematic Experience, or Can a Cult Movie Sensation Be Created?” Click on this link for more details and to attend. Click on this link for the promo video.)

The Amazing, Incomparable “Ben & Arthur” Presented by Legendary Lew is Coming to Facets Night School!

Your life may never be the same after this. Coming Saturday night, May 11th at 11:59pm to Facets Multimedia. Lew Ojeda, Tyler Pistorius and Demetra Materis will be your guides to a fine evening of wild, interactive entertainment.

To join in the fun, bring:
your cell phone
sugar packets
a stuffed toy cat
newspaper

Killer Looks: Legendary Lew Interviews Lauren Whalen on the Cult Appeal of “Drop Dead Gorgeous”

Estrogen deficiency in midnight movie viewing is cured this weekend as Lauren Whalen of Chicago Theater Beat presents “Girls, Guns and Glitter, Don’cha Know: Drop Dead Gorgeous and the Wild World of Mock Doc.”  Legendary Lew gets the lowdown on this influential comedy which joined “Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion” and “Dick” as among the funniest female-centric comedies of the late 1990′s.

LL: Could you tell a little about “Drop Dead Gorgeous?”

LW: It’s a darkly funny and very quotable 1999 mockumentary about a beauty pageant gone bad. In Mount Rose, Minnesota, teenage boys get hockey scholarships or go to prison and teenage girls enter the Mount Rose American Teen Princess competition. Our heroine, Amber Atkins, is an ace tap dancer who works in the school cafeteria and at the local mortuary, and dreams of following in the footsteps of former “pageant girl”, Diane Sawyer. Her rival, Becky Leeman, also has her eyes on the prize – and Becky is rich, the vice president of the Lutheran Women’s Gun Club, and has the stage mother from hell who’s also the pageant organizer. And in the meantime, people are getting knocked off at an alarming rate.

“Drop Dead Gorgeous” has great turns from Kirsten Dunst (doing her best Minnesota accent, don’cha know), Denise Richards (way before Charlie Sheen), Kirstie Alley (as the horrid stage mom) and Ellen Barkin (as Amber’s beer-guzzling mama). Allison Janney is fantastic as Amber’s drunk and horny neighbor – she’s said she gets asked more about this movie than she does about “The West Wing”, if you can believe it.

LL: When people think of midnight movies, male-based films in certain genres usually come to mind–scifi, horror, exploitation. Since “Drop Dead Gorgeous” is centered around female characters at a beauty pageant, where do you think the overlap is with the usual midnight movie?

LW: Cult film is largely a boys’ club. When I worked at Facets, it took me years to get comfortable talking movies with the “cool kids” (mostly men). I’m the only female presenter this session at Night School – even when that’s not the case, I’m one of two or maybe three in an eight-week session. I can’t speak for my entire gender, of course, but I do try to present female-driven films (like “Mulholland Dr.”) or ones with strong female characters (like “Brick”) because there is a place for women in the midnight movie world.

“Drop Dead Gorgeous” isn’t a “boy movie” or a “girl movie”. (I don’t think any movie should be classified this way.) Yes, all the main characters are women and it’s about a beauty pageant, but it’s got this absurdist vibe that’s also strangely true to life. Beauty pageants are fascinating, and they are bizarre, and those in the world are obsessed. In “Drop Dead Gorgeous”, someone is literally killing to win, and there are cat fights and explosions and carnage galore. It’s this hilarious juxtaposition of sequins and bright smiles, and blood and fire. Twisted intelligence that has you laughing and shaking your head equals the quintessential midnight movie.

LL:  What engages you most about the humor in “Drop Dead Gorgeous?”

“DDG”‘s director, Michael Patrick Jann, is an alum of the comedy collective The State. If you’ve seen “Reno 911!”, “Party Down” or “Wet Hot American Summer”, you’re familiar with this group. They were a bunch of film and theater majors from NYU’s Tisch School for the Arts that had a show for a couple of years on MTV, then split up and infiltrated Hollywood. When I was a 14-year-old theater geek, I’d watch The State in my basement. Jann directed a lot of sketches and would often appear shirtless. I have him to thank for my entrance into puberty.

Hormones aside, The State had this really odd sense of humor that’s carried through all their work. It’s very base yet artistic, theatrical and dark, abstract but sort of childlike too. It’s smart – which appealed to me a lot as a teen, and now – but doesn’t take itself too seriously. As a director, Jann takes every opportunity for humor, whether it’s slapstick or clever or uncomfortable. He pulls absolutely no punches. Just brilliant.

Also, I just really like glitter.

LL:  What other potential midnight movies, if any, would you compare this movie to?

LW: “This is Spinal Tap”. Anything in the Christopher Guest oeuvre. “Wet Hot American Summer”. “Team America: World Police”, which has been featured at Night School in the past. “Death Proof”.

Thanks to Lauren for the interview! Be sure to check out her reviews at Chicago Theater Beat.

Girls, Guns and Glitter, Don’cha Know: Drop Dead Gorgeous and the Wild World of Mock Doc
Saturday night May 4th, 2013 at 11:59pm
Facets Multimedia
1517 W Fullerton
Chicago, IL 60614
Admission: $5, FREE for Facets Members. Become one here.
All students: receive one FREE small popcorn with valid student ID.

Mediatrocities #7: Legendary Lew Interviews Chris Hefner on His Upcoming New Feature “The Poisoner”

Chicago filmmaker Chris Hefner recently sat down with me and talked about his new movie The Poisoner, which will debut soon at The Portage Theater (you can help him screen the film sooner by visiting his website and buying a deluxe screening ticket).

Chris is a wonderfully talented director, whose first feature The Pink Hotel had a successful debut at The Music Box Theatre. Our talk discussed everything from his filmmaking approach and his start behind the camera to current methods of radically independent film production and distribution. If you have any interest at all in making films on the cheap but have them not looking that way, you really should give a listen.

This episode hosted by Legendary Lew. Produced and directed by Lew Ojeda. The closing theme is “Ghostsong” by Daniel Knox.

 

Arias with Your Mouth Full: Legendary Lew Interviews Michael Smith on Manoel de Oliveira’s “The Cannibals”

This Saturday night at midnight, indie filmmaker and instructor Michael Smith will present Portuguese director Manoel de Oliveira’s very rarely seen and incredibly strange opera, The Cannibals (Os Canibais), for Facets Night School. Straddling between the two cinematic worlds of art house finesse and grind house excess (think Marco Ferreri’s La Grande Bouffe), The Cannibals promises to blow your mind (if you don’t blow your chunks in the process).

LL:  The Cannibals has been rarely shown in The United States. Could you tell us a little about the film?

MS:  The Cannibals is one of the very best films of Manoel de Oliveira who is one of the world’s greatest living directors. Oliveira is best known in America not for any specific films but rather for having a freakishly long career. He directed his first film in 1931 (in what was still the silent era in his native Portugal) and he is currently in pre-production on a new film at the age of 104. But the movies themselves, which are made in conscious opposition to Hollywood conventions and have not been widely distributed in America, are great: they tend to be rigorous, deliberately paced literary or theatrical adaptations centered on the theme of doomed love. I think The Cannibals is an ideal introduction to Oliveira’s work because it shows off his playful side: it’s funny, surreal and very subversive. It shows the strong influence of Luis Bunuel.

LL: How is The Cannibals a bridge between art house cinema and midnight movies?

MS: I would describe it as a midnight movie disguised as an art film. I think it was brilliant of Oliveira to tell this particular story as an opera. It’s an adaptation of a 19th century novel but he hired a contemporary composer, Joao Paes, to write an original operatic score and libretto. Literally every line of dialogue in the movie is sung and the score is excellent. However, the film becomes weirder and weirder as it goes along until it reaches the climax, which is totally insane. I think Oliveira chose to work with the form of opera because no other artistic medium is so closely identified with the upper class — the true subject of his satire. He’s making fun of his target audience! Without giving anything away, I would say he wanted to cloak his movie in the semblance of respectability and “high art” in order to deliver a kind of sucker punch at the end. I almost want to compare The Cannibals to Takashi Miike’s Audition in terms of how it works. (If you’ve seen that film you know that it lulls you into a state of near-boredom before presenting a mind-fuck of an ending that is effective precisely because of what comes before.) I also hasten to add that it’s not necessary to understand anything about opera to appreciate this film. I myself know little about opera.

LL: Were there any other operas commissioned directly to cinema?

MS: I’m not aware of any. It’s very rare to have any kind of musical film in which all of the dialogue is sung. Les Miserables is an obvious example but that’s, of course, an adaptation of a well-known musical play and had a built-in fanbase. The only other film I can think of that comes close to fitting the bill is The Umbrellas of Cherbourg. Jacques Demy commissioned Michel Legrand to write the original score and Demy himself wrote the dialogue, all of which is sung, but the style of the music is not that of an opera. So I think Oliveira’s achievement is singular and highly innovative.

LL: What do you wish to accomplish by presenting The Cannibals to a crowd accustomed to exploitation, sexploitation and violent trashy films?

 MS: I’m glad that you asked. I hope to broaden viewers’ horizons as to what their perceptions of a midnight movie is. The Cannibals is not exploitative or trashy and yet, in a lot of ways, it’s far weirder than many of the movies to which those labels are often attached. This film is so odd, in fact, that I myself don’t even know how to fully process it! This is also a big part of the reason why I want to show it: presenting it to an audience will hopefully inspire everyone present to work together in making sense of it in our discussion afterwards.

My thanks to Michael Smith for the interview. You can read his posts on the blog White City Cinema. It’s definitely worth your time.

Come feast your eyes and ears on The Cannibals at Facets Night School.

Saturday night April 27, 2013 at midnight

Facets Multimedia

1517 W Fullerton

Chicago, IL 60614

Admission: $5, FREE for Facets members! Become one here.

Watch the Great Indie Surreal Film “The Pink Hotel” Free

Chicago’s own excellent talent Chris Hefner presents his first feature, The Pink Hotel, available now on Vimeo. If you haven’t seen it, give it a watch, as you will not see films like this one very often. If you live in Chicago, know that there are many incredible artists like Chris trying to work independently and share their great visions.

Chris will be the special guest interview on “Mediatrocities” coming up later this month. Look for it. For now, you can help him out by heading to his Etsy store and buying a ticket for the debut of his new feature The Poisoner at The Portage Theater. Support your local indie artists!

Facets Night School’s Dominick Mayer Purrs Over Rene Cardona, Jr. and Night of 1000 Cats

This Saturday night those of you who crave pussy in your midnight movies will see plenty of them on the screen when Dominick Mayer, editor and critic for HEAVE Media, presents “Knockoff Henchmen, Helicopter Seduction and Night of a 1000 (sic) Cats. ”  The movie has been widely available for years on VHS and DVD, but never like this, for Mayer was able to obtain a rare 35MM extended version of the film. With it’s extra 20 minutes and presented in glorious, eroding MagentaColor®, this promises to be the ultimate in grindhouse viewing. You’ll be able to feel the mildew and wonder if the guy sitting in your row will flash you in the men’s room.

Here’s my interview with this very learned fellow:

LL: Night of 1000 Cats was made by Rene Cardona, Jr., the great Mexican exploitation director who should as well known as Ed Wood but isn’t. Could you give us a little about him?

DM: Honestly, the more I try to find about Mr. Cardona, Jr., the more questions I ultimately end up facing. I can tell you this: He was a ridiculously prolific filmmaker, putting out 99

Rene Cardona, Jr.

films as a director between his credited start in the 1964 and his death in 2003. Many of his films are out of print or hard to find; on this spectrum, Cats is definitely more obscure than something like Guyana: Cult of the Damned or Tintorera (the latter a delightful Jaws ripoff that you should find if possible), but at least it can be tracked down with relative ease. “Obscure” is relative here, though; he’s very much an unsung talent.

LL: What drew you to this movie? I know this film was one that I strongly considered for Night School.

DM: A few years ago, a friend of mine bought it out of the dollar bin at F.Y.E. largely because of the mistranslated title; the American DVD release boasts the deliciously trashy title Night of a 1,000 Cats, and if you pronounce the number as “one thousand,” the appeal of such a film pretty much sells itself.

Dreaded kitties waiting for their next beautiful meal

That said, once we actually threw it on, I was totally blown away. It’s an amazing piece of exploitation trash, and from a filmmaking acumen (or lack thereof) standpoint, it’s fascinating on the level of something more reputed like The Room. More than anything, I wanted to show a theater full of people this thing, provide what context I can and, more than anything, watch people who haven’t seen it react to it. To cycle back to your intial question, this has that intangible “youhave to see this” factor to which exploitation cinema aspires.

LL: I’m excited that you’re presenting the 35MM print of this film. Have you seen it and do you know what differences there are between this and the DVD/VHS released versions?

DM: First off, huge thanks to a gentleman named Harry Guerro for being goodly enough to share his personal print with us. Anyway, I can’t say I’ve seen the 35mm print; it’s because of Jason Coffman‘s offhand mention of seeing it in Philadelphia at Exhumed Films’ 24-Hour Horrorthon last year that I was even aware such a thing existed. I figured this was a bargain bin curio and no more, so I’m thrilled to be screening it. All I know is that there’s about 20-25 minutes of footage in the original version that doesn’t exist on DVD. A bonus if you’re reading this and on the fence about coming: to the best of my knowledge, this is the first-ever Chicago screening of Cats in its purest form.

LL: How would you compare this with other horror films about killer animals?

DM: How many others make you wonder if the animals onscreen are actually in mortal peril? Because this one totally does. It also has maybe the least intimidating evil animals in horror history.

LL: What do you hope viewers will take away from this movie?

DM: If a stranger lands his helicopter in your backyard and asks if you want to see his castle in the middle of the forest, the correct reaction is to politely demur. 

Thanks, Dominick!

Facets Night School Presents: Knockoff Henchmen, Helicopter Seduction and a “Night of a 1,000 Cats” (IN RARE 35MM)

Saturday night April 13, 2013 at Midnight

Facets Multimedia

1517 W Fullerton

Chicago, IL 60614

Admission: $5, FREE for Facets Members (become one here)

One FREE small popcorn for students with valid student ID

Viral Pro-Hollywood Oscars Tribute Video Shut Down by Disney Because Stupid Pill Overdose

Send out for a documentary crew, because you just can’t make up this shit. Nelson Carvajal, a Chicago editor/blogger/filmmaker decided to spend some time a couple of months ago, creating a montage that honored the Best Picture winners before this year’s Oscars telecast. It not only went viral, but gained some good press for a job well done.

Leave it to Disney to step in and ruin it all. Claiming a copyright infringement, the studio that gave the world this has now forced Carvajal’s video off Vimeo. His was a video that praised Hollywood, followed fair use rules, and one that could spark  interest in viewers  to…oh, I dunno, perhaps seek out those movies. Heaven  forbid, that could even lead to DVD sales. Isn’t this the studios’ point of forcing the removal of videos in the first place?