Tag Archives: politics

Get This Banned Danish GOTV PSA on American Media **NOW**! (NSFW)

voteman-hed-2014

by Legendary Lew

I would love to shake the hand of the person who had the wild audacity to create this pants-pissing, hilarious cartoon urging young people to vote.  It touches on so many themes: hipster culture, superhero worship, incredible amounts of gratuitous sex and violence and even dolphins. However, it also makes the point that personal involvement matters. The GREATEST political Get-Out-the-Vote Ad ever created–bar NONE.

It was, of course, yanked immediately.

To those whimpering that this is too offensive: really? Been to the movies lately? Voter apathy in this country is way too high. Any means by which we can get more people to vote and continue to be a part of the law-making process can help.

http://bcove.me/zd5fpz0b

Internet Hater Chris Dodd Wants Technology to Help Boost Sagging Theater Attendance

ChrisDodd

by Legendary Lew

Variety reports that last year, attendance for the 18-24 year-old age bracket in movie theaters dropped like a stone. It’s serious because, you know, everyone else is dead and will never benefit from films aimed toward them:

The number of frequent moviegoers in the all-important 18-24 age group plunged an unprecedented 21% in 2013, according to MPAA annual statistics released Tuesday at Cinemacon, while attendance in the 12-17 age bracket also saw a precipitous drop off, falling almost 15%.

Frequent filmgoers from 12-24 are likely spending much of their previous moviegoing time watching a variety of other screens.

Well, heavens to Betsy, whatever shall a bloated, non-innovative, money-wasting, inefficient, money-gouging, hypocritical corporate entity do?!

I know! Call in MPAA head Chris Dodd to give the industry a pep talk:

“We need to keep exploring fresh ways of leveraging our new technology to drive traffic to your theaters,” Dodd insisted during his keynote address delivered Tuesday at CinemaCon in Las Vegas.

“We can embrace technology, and use it to complement our offerings,” Dodd added.

I practically shat blood laughing so hard when reading these statements. This is the same Chris Dodd that backed the SOPA and PIPA legislations–so much so that he extorted the White House to try and have its support. SOPA and PIPA would have destroyed the internet as we know it with opposition to the legislation coming from internet companies that regularly help Hollywood promote its films. The public response to Dodd and SOPA/PIPA supporters was a whole lot of this.

It’s also the same Chris Dodd that supported the arrest of Kim Dotcom, only to have the case against him implode over embarrassing allegations, not the least of which was Dotcom’s assertion that he was ready to start a legally-created IPO with MegaUpload. (Dotcom’s new company, Mega, has since created an IPO in New Zealand)

Now, Dodd wants to urge the industry to use technology, i.e the internet, to boost theater tix sales.  Never mind that he tried to explode it a couple of years ago and will, no doubt, try again, unless Dodd has some other new type of technology he wants to introduce to the world.  Oh wait, I forgot, Hollywood doesn’t have one.

Next time Chris Dodd gives a speech, I suggest this type of formal attire.

 

 

TUGM Proudly Presents the World Premiere Online Release of “Sisters of No Mercy”!

It’s finally here! After nearly three years and two hundred dollars, The Underground Multiplex presents the wild, avant-garde nunsploitation comedy Sisters of No Mercy: The Real 3D Midnight Movie Xperience. Combining exploitation, comedy, classic roadshow reels, politics, music and live performance, SONM is the completion of the first collaboration between Joseph R. Lewis and me.

This came about first as a 4-minute parody trailer for a then fake nunsploitation feature. With the help of some great talented friends, we408 were able to pull off this bit in three weeks, just before I was to give a lecture on nunsploitation at Facets Night School.

The trailer debuted on YouTube in October 2010 and gained an unexpected positive response in February 2011 from the French version of  Slate Magazine, which hyperlinked the short and called it a successful parody (if the Google translation is correct). Emboldened by the responses, I casually mentioned to Joe that perhaps the nuns should go to Madison, WI during the height of protests against Governor Scott Walker and exorcise the Koch-funded “demon” from the state capitol.

The resulting short film was The Wisconsin Exorsisters, which brought back Sisters Amy and Angela, Mother Superior and the evil Father Neal from first trailer. That short went public in March 2011.

409When June rolled around, we had decided to extended Sisters of No Mercy into a feature. To accomplish this, the film needed extra footage, which was provided by recording the third portion of the film live before a midnight movie audience attending each screening of Session 8 of Facets Night School. Each chapter was filmed in 5 minute pieces before that evening’s lecture and screening. The resulting portions were then uploaded weekly online.

On September 30, 2011, TUGM debuted Sisters of No Mercy 3D at Facets Night School in an edited version that included a live interactive experience with the audience. They were treated to live music, a theatrical performance, juggling and dancing for a unique approach in film entertainment. This version has not been duplicated since.

Which brings us finally to today– almost three years since the inception of the nunsploitation parody. The final product we hope you’ll find funny, informative and entertaining. It could not be done without the help of the following wonderful people:

Amy J. Boyd, Angela Yonke, Adrianna Montiel, Kenzie Kl, Bruce Neal, Joe Rubin, Jason Coffman, Jason Loeffler, Jonathan Leaf, Douglas Grew, Brian Kirst, Lielie Kaehn-Jarvis, Brian Jarvis, Chris Brake, Christa Koch, Nathan Boecker, Susan Doll, Phil Morehart, all the presenters of Facets Night School and, of course, the twisted genius of Joe Lewis.

Legendary Lew Ojeda

High Level Diplomacy

Obama-Angry-Face

 

 

 

Vladimir Putin

Obama-Smirk

 putinstunned

airline agentputin phone

 

Mike Huckabee Has a DOMA Decision Sad

mikehuckabeesnip

Jesus-Laughing

Kevin DuJan’s IMAX Sized Epic Roy Cohn FAIL: Bradley Balof’s Movies are NOT Porn.

Gay Porn According to Kevin DuJan

Gay Porn According to Kevin DuJan

A few days ago Nico Lang broke a story on The Daily Dot about conservative blogger Kevin DuJan outing Chicago Public School teacher Bradley Balof as a gay porn actor and claiming that teacher moonlights as a comic telling racist jokes about his kids.

As DNAInfo noted, this is coming from a blogger who claims President Obama is a coke-addicted gay man and called Michelle his “beard.” Classy guy, eh?

Well, since I’m quite an authority on unseen movies, I decided to put the gay porn film claims to the test. Balof is listed on IMDB as appearing in two features, Bowser Makes a Movie and Into It. I checked both of them out from a local Chicago video store (Specialty Video) and watched them. 

I’ve worked for two different video/specialty stores in the past that rented straight and gay adult films, so I feel I’m qualified to make the following observation. Based on what appears in the two movies in question:

Kevin DuJan would not know obscenity if Dick Cheney ass fucked him with a Willis Tower dildo on Navy Pier at high noon.

Is that clear enough, DuJan?

Let’s quickly go over the movies in question. Bowser Makes a Movie is a good-natured goofy indie comedy starring Nick Lewis as a perpetually fired young man, planning a money-raising scheme to fund a gay porno for a publishing company. Balof makes a brief appearance as a gay porn star named Vincent van Coq (it’s a movie, Kevin, not a documentary). There is simulated sex in the film and if rated would barely be an R. No nudity in this film whatsoever.

The only full frontal nudity in the film Into It appears in a brief scenewhere a lonely gay hustler Simon (Zach Welsheimer) prepares to take a shower. Balof has a supporting role as Brett, a hustler bounced out

Another alleged gay porn from the mind of DuJan

Another alleged gay porn from the mind of DuJan

of rehab and helping supply Simon’s roommate Rem (Richard Jones) with drugs. It’s a much more serious film with sexual frankness replacing any total nudity. (Sorry, Kevin, but here, you’re only going to see Bradley’s ass).  And although it doesn’t totally work, this is, at least, a sincere attempt to capture the lonely, unhappy lives of a few Chicago gay hustlers and the johns who hire them. If I had lent this movie to a rental customer stating it was gay porn, that person would return calling me a liar.

So Kevin DuJan’s major claim and the inference that a highly rated CPS teacher is harming children is nothing more than Roy Cohn-style horseshit.  DuJan better start backpedaling and apologizing for these stupid claims post-haste before he digs his hole even deeper. 

Happy Birthday, Jean Seberg

The phrase “tormented actress” never seemed to fit more than with the late great Jean Seberg, who was castigated–and almost burned alive by–Otto Preminger, possibly hounded to suicide by the FBI, put into a really weird movie (see above) by husband/director Romain Gary and underestimated by Hollywood.

Seberg, who was a newcomer picked by Preminger to star in Saint Joan, eventually proved her cinematic immortality by starring in Jean-Luc Godard’s Breathless, thereby indirectly influencing all directors claiming to be auteurs ever since. Unfortunately, she was effectively blacklisted in Hollywood, thanks to a pervasive FBI COINTELPRO  project aimed at ruining her professional career and her life for supporting The Black Panther Party. The FBI even went so far as to claim that a baby born to Seberg, and dying two days later, was fathered by Black Panther member Raymond Hewitt. A devastated Seberg held an open casket funeral to dispel the rumor–the baby was white. However, it was not fathered by Romain Gary, her husband at the time, but by a student revolutionary.

Although there are several works recounting the life of Seberg, you would do very well to watch the fantastic film essay From the Journals of Jean Seberg directed by Mark Rappaport.  It not only tells of her outrageous mistreatment by the FBI and by Hollywood, but also makes the case that Seberg is a much more iconic figure in film than many actresses who came before or since.

You should check out her films, even the strange ones like Kill! starring fellow independent-minded actor Stephen Boyd and with a great theme featuring Doris Troy:

 

 

 

Mitt Romney Quickly Dumps Stock of Chinese Online Company Accused of Piracy

From BuzzFeed comes the news that, until recently, Mitt Romney should have been talking like a pirate on Sept. 19:

Mitt Romney’s recently released tax returns show the governor recently sold off investments in the Chinese online-video company Youku, a Chinese version of YouTube. The site was launched in 2006 and quickly became a haven for downloading illegal American content. The site has been trying to repair its image as a piracy portal since lawsuits have caused them to remove unauthorized content”

Oops!  Looks like it’s another Mittstake. He’s going to need a ledger to keep track of them all. Anyone out there in his 1% donor clan with Excel experience?

Do you think he sneaked out of Kim Dotcom’s mansion just before the MPAA Chris Dodd authorities invaded?

As expected, he then accused the Obama Administration of catering to Chinese pirates:

“Did you know they even have an Apple store?” Romney said at a rally. “It’s a fake Apple store; they sell counterfeit Apple products. This is wrong. We’re gonna crack down on China when they manipulate their currency, when they steal our goods, when they don’t protect our intellectual property. We’re gonna make sure that China understands we mean business.”

I’m guessing he means their business.

Lew

Mitt Romney Postpones His Concession Speech to Take a Dump

 

I was thoroughly surprised for about a good solid 18 minutes when I had learned from my reliable source that Mitt Romney decided to postpone his concession speech, one that I had expected on Wednesday night. Romney instead decided to take a Friday dump about his taxes with the hope that the media would clean up the mess. I understand that there was heated debate regarding the release of the tax returns between Trustee Brad Malt and one of Romney’s trusted advisers, Jacob Barley Malt (no relation).

Another reason given to me for the concession postponement was the Romneys’ tanning session. Mitt had decided to try bronzer for his appeal to Latinos during a Univision appearance (see picture above). Ann, on the other hand, chose to go all in at a local tanning salon with this being the result:

 

It might be one of the reasons why Mitt wanted Ann to appear less often on the stump.

My apologies for the premature news regarding the concession. As soon as I can get verifiable news from my trusted source, I will be certain to pass along the information.

Lew

Mitt Romney Concedes!! Transcript Below of Speech He Will Deliver Tonight

In recent weeks, the Romney campaign had been inundated with several shattering blows to the candidate. The unveiling of Vice-Presidential choice Paul Ryan has reopened concerns about the dismantling of Medicare and draconian budget cuts; the Republican Convention became a disaster with the omission of gratitude for the troops and Clint Eastwood’s meme-creating bizarre speech; Romney was savaged for comments made denigrating the Obama Administration’s reaction to Libyan riots resulting in the death of the U.S. Ambassador; and most recently, Mitt Romney was caught surreptitiously declaring nearly half of Americans as deadbeats who would vote for Obama because they demand permanent assistance from the government to run their lives.

As a result of this general downslide, donors have pulled out of creating ads for Romney, fellow Republicans and friendly pundits have mostly shunned him, and his poll numbers are declining. His campaign is in major free fall.

I expect the President will win re-election in November. However, even given the strange ride that this presidential campaign has been, nothing prepared me for what was about to happen.

Forty-seven days before election day, Mitt Romney has decided to concede.

The Underground Multiplex has obtained a copy of the transcript Mitt Romney will present tonight as he moves aside to allow Paul Ryan to take the mantle as presidential candidate for the GOP. It’s unclear who would replace Ryan as Vice-Presidential candidate, although rumors abound that Marco Rubio, Chris Christie and even Ron Paul–long considered a thorn in the side for the party–would be asked.

Here is the transcript of the speech expected to be given by Romney at 9pm Eastern Time tonight in Boston:

Before I begin tonight, I want to thank everyone involved with my campaign. They are a great team: Beth Myers, Pete Flaherty, Eric Fehrnstrom, Stu, Russ, Ashley, Ron and all the volunteers. You all made the best team imaginable and I’m proud of everything you’ve done. I know there have been reports of infighting. I want to assure you these were kept to a minimum. I take all responsibility for all the positive advances we’ve made during this campaign. You all worked very hard and I appreciate that and so does the country.

And there could not have been a better choice I could have made than Paul Ryan. That was a tough choice to make, as you all well know, because of all the unfair publicity Paul’s had to take during this campaign. I thought he gave a great speech at the convention that resonated with many Americans. I personally can remember about 10 or 12 people I’ve met on the road through this campaign who told me how proud I must be of Paul.

I also want to thank my family, Ann, who’s been terrific in supporting me and showing that women are a great part of this party and that she loves them. Tagg, Matt, Josh, Ben, Craig–you’ve all been great. I’m sorry that I kept you up at night rehearsing speeches. There were a lot of them I had to make unexpectedly. You know, I never told this story, but one night during the campaign, Ben was supposed to drive around our old neighborhood canvassing and his car was stuck in the elevator overnight. That shows you the perils of campaigning and how committed my family is to me. I promise that for all your patience, we’ll shop for new puppies for your kids.

My faith, family and friends have gotten me through some tough times. Ann mentioned during the convention about the tough times having to eat tuna and pasta casserole. I spent over two years as a Mormon missionary in France and had to learn French in a hurry. Even the time we had the accident with Seamus, riding excitedly on the roof of the car, we always had the presence of God’s love and compassion.

I have always felt that Americans shared in this sense of compassion, this sense of a belief in God and in the sense of overall goodness no matter what difficulties they may face. They are people who know what it means to do the right thing. That is why, in that spirit, I have decided to suspend my campaign for President of the United States indefinitely.

I am as certain today as when I first began this journey many years ago, that I would have been a great, compassionate and thoughtful leader. A leader who would not apologize for America and cause the deaths of Americans overseas–I just want to interrupt and say I remember the troops and thank them for their service. A leader who would not work to keep nearly half of Americans under the oppression of government entitlements, a leader who would have brought new jobs through my new plan of tax breaks for job creators, a leader who would stand up for the jobs that get sent over to China. A leader who would fight to get this country back on track. As a businessman, I know exactly how to get companies and this country back on their feet again. Even though I will no longer be front and center gaining attention with these ideas, you can be certain I will continue to work with those great men and women who love this country and will fight for tax cuts, the unborn, the sanctity of marriage and all those policies that I’ve always stood firmly on.

I give the mantle of leadership now to Paul Ryan, who I think will make a great president. I’m confident he will make a great choice for a vice-presidential running mate, whoever that will be.

I now know what it feels like to be unemployed, so I guess I will be joining the 47%. All kidding aside, I want to thank all of you for making this a memorable journey. Thank you and God Bless America.

It’ll be fascinating to see how the Republicans deal with this. The head of the party is now gone, changed over to someone perhaps they always wanted. Will this be what the GOP secretly wished for all this time or will they feel this completely crushes their chances in November? Can Romney even be taken off the ballot now? Many, many questions.

Lew