Mitt Romney Postpones His Concession Speech to Take a Dump


I was thoroughly surprised for about a good solid 18 minutes when I had learned from my reliable source that Mitt Romney decided to postpone his concession speech, one that I had expected on Wednesday night. Romney instead decided to take a Friday dump about his taxes with the hope that the media would clean up the mess. I understand that there was heated debate regarding the release of the tax returns between Trustee Brad Malt and one of Romney’s trusted advisers, Jacob Barley Malt (no relation).

Another reason given to me for the concession postponement was the Romneys’ tanning session. Mitt had decided to try bronzer for his appeal to Latinos during a Univision appearance (see picture above). Ann, on the other hand, chose to go all in at a local tanning salon with this being the result:


It might be one of the reasons why Mitt wanted Ann to appear less often on the stump.

My apologies for the premature news regarding the concession. As soon as I can get verifiable news from my trusted source, I will be certain to pass along the information.


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