ERNIE TARTE’S TIPS FOR FILMMAKERS

Ernie Tarte XOX

Ernie Tarte is an acclaimed filmmaker and former expatriate.

After the tumultuous reception of his film “SELF”,  Tarte went into seclusion in South America where he lived as a God amongst a tribe of Peruvian natives that had never seen shampoo before.

Since his return he has become a frequent contributor to Mediatrocities, the Multiplex’s media podcast hosted by Legendary Lew.

He offers the following introduction:

“Film cannot be taught, nor can DESIRE.  I provide the following advice ironically, as a joke for myself at the expense of the reader.  However, I am also sincere…not in my motivations, but in my genius.”   -TARTE

TARTE’S TIPS FOR FILMMAKERS

1. Every word you utter can be a movie.   For example, every word I just used can be a great movie. Exclamation point.

2. As Kubrick once meant to say, “I can write it and think it, so film me.”

3. Wake up every morning and say, “I am the Self”  in at least fifteen different languages.

4. Always remember- when they say, “Go F#k yourself”…it’s a compliment.

5.  Raw film is like raw food.  And a theatre is like a restaurant…What no tip?  Question Mark.

6.  There are only 3 great filmmakers you need to know.  And Tarte is all of them.

7.  Circles or squares.  Choose wisely.

TARTE

Post Script:  I attach my favorite short film for your betterment.  You will NOT understand it…

Click HERE to Listen to Ernie Tarte and Legendary Lew rundown some of 2012’s WORST movies as part of our RAZZIE’S ROUND-UP on Mediatrocities.

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