Tag Archives: Hollywood

If the TPP is Enacted, Hollywood Takes a Giant Leap Towards Throwing You in Prison for File Sharing, Even for Noncommercial Uses

MPAA Prez Chris Dodd. Still terrible.

MPAA Prez Chris Dodd. Still terrible.

by Legendary Lew

Leave it to MPAA head Chris Dodd to back a multi-national trade agreement, The Trans-Pacific Partnership, that will, according to its critics, trash the very legislation that bears his name.

But, hey, if you want to be a Hollywood whore, you do what your pimps want–and with the TPP, the Hollywood studio Macks demand two things: Dodd puts on the ho heels and anyone file sharing goes to jail.

The current language of the TPP, as leaked by Wikileaks (who would, btw, be in some major legal trouble through the same agreement) is so loose and ambiguous, you’d have to think twice about sampling music, creating award-nominated re-edits (recognized by Hollywood!) or even posting that cute video of your grandma dancing to “All About That Bass:”

She is pretty good.

Anyway, the language in the TPP portion released by Wikileaks allows for governments in the trade agreement to impose:

penalties that include sentences of imprisonment as well as monetary fines sufficiently high to provide a deterrent to future acts of infringement, consistently with the level of penalties applied for crimes of a corresponding gravity

So what’ya say we throw you in jail for 10 years and fine you $1 million? Not enough of “a deterrent?” How about a trillion?

The draconian language of this provision is, of course, its virtual guarantee that the enforcement is going to be virtually impossible without imprisoning a shitload of people, so I have a proposal of my own.

Hollywood, if you want this deal, I want to back you up by arresting and imprisoning every single exec and producer who’s stolen ideas. Let’s start clearing them out.

Michael Bay, we’ve got a jail cell for you. Kevin Tsujihara, head of Warner Brothers, one of your execs said piracy was not a big deal. You’re a collaborator, we can send you to prison also. Adam Sandler, there’s a wing in a penitentiary going to be named after you.

It’s time to give up the fantasy that Hollywood offers any clear and personal connection to you. I love movies, but I detest the current corporate system that creates blockbusters as “deals” and then involves itself in international politics that trample on individual rights.

It’s just one more reason why my movie choices are becoming more independent and local.

If you oppose the TPP, you should contact your representative and senator right now.  A vote in Congress is imminent.

 

 

 

Mediatrocities #17: Interview with John Rangel, director of “Remember Our Days”

by Ty Pi ~ @-[->

ROD Primary Image Final COPYLegendary Lew interviews filmmaker John Rangel (The Girls on Liberty Street) in the latest episode of “Mediatrocities.”  Topics include the projection of stereotypes in Hollywood cinema, independent film, and Rangel’s upcoming film Remember Our Days.  This film is currently seeking crowd-funding via Seed&Spark.  Click on this link to visit the page and contribute to the project.

This episode is NSFW

Jean Claude Van Damme Just Gave All Media Creators an Early Valentine’s Day Present

No other human can grab nursing lion cubs from their mother get away with it

No other human can grab nursing lion cubs from their mother get away with it

by Legendary Lew

Action icon Jean Claude Van Damme continues to increase the stock value of his super-coolness.  Not only did he put in a well-received acting performance in JCVD and blow up social media with his split-legged Volvo commercial, he now wants to be in your videos and movies. Seriously.

In what I think is a terrific and brilliant move by both Van Damme and Green Screen, the muscle-shirted action hero performs short bits before a green screen–free for you to use in your own media projects.

You can watch the 3-minute sequence below with J.C. thrusting samurai swords, firing machine guns and spouting off one-liners. Talk about a fantastic gift!

RIP Underground TV Talk Show Legend Joe Franklin, “The King of Nostalgia”

joefranklinby Legendary Lew

If you were anybody who was anybody in show business, chances are you landed a gig talking to Joe Franklin. Franklin died on Sat. Jan. 24 of prostate cancer at age 88.

Dubbed as “The Wizard of Was,” Franklin was on TV for forty-three years (1950-1993), long outlasting Paar, Carson, Leno, Letterman, Steve Allen. In fact, he fathered the modern day talk show format with his congenial manner and outshined most of them with his encyclopedic knowledge of old-time show business.  He talked like (and dressed like) the best talent agent on Earth.

That knowledge allowed for amazing appearances on his show, not only for legends like Frank Sinatra, but for performers long forgotten or those who didn’t make many talk show appearances. Watching “The Joe Franklin Show” was like having the question, “Whatever happened to…?” answered instantly.  People like Anita O’Day, Arthur Prysock, Jack Gilford, Steve Reeves, Tommy Sands, Sally Kirkland and Carol Lynley showed up and proved they were still alive.

This, of course, made for some great shots by fringe entertainers, such as Sir Monti Rock III:

Here’s Joe talking to The Ramones or as Joe called them The RAYmones. They died before he did:

And talking to horror master Dario Argento:

And finally a guest Franklin said was his favorite:

Joe, you are now among the legends you loved.

Immediate Thoughts on Razzie Nominations: Sellouts and Omissions

Thanks a lot, Razzie voters. :(

Thanks a lot, Razzie voters. :(

by Legendary Lew

The 35th annual Golden Raspberry Award nominations have been announced with the expected emphasis on works touched by perennial Razzie fav, Michael Bay.

TyPi, Mountain Drew and I will talk more about those films and persons nominated, but I want to quickly present some quick thoughts on the noms.

Where the hell is The Interview?! Completely shut out? Really?! Razzie voters: is this a “patriotic” move on your part? Did you protect our national security?

Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas would have been completely forgotten, instead of getting 6 nominations, if voters did not fall for the nonsense Kirk Cameron dished up to get further self promotion. Well played, Kirk, well played.

Johnny Depp overlooked for Transcendence. A shocker, really.

Worst Supporting Actor category is the weakest I’ve seen and, once again, an example of how the voters don’t know what they’re doing. Shaquille O’Neal is not a supporting actor. He makes a cameo twice. There’s a difference. O’Neal’s appearance is not integral to the film. A more logical choice would have been Terry Crews, in an incredibly racist pseudo-narrator/commentator on Sandler/Barrymore’s pointless romance.  Other more logical nominees are Neil Patrick Harris, A Million Ways to Die in the West; Rob Corddry, Sex Tape; Danny Glover, Rage; Giovanni Ribisi, A Million Ways to Die in the West.

Charlize Theron may win, undeservedly, worst actress for A Million Ways to Die in the West, when the film should have been about her. Megan Fox should have been nominated in this category, as she’s actually who Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles follows for the plot to unfold. She is incredibly unconvincing as a journalist, which means she’ll be on the payroll of Fox News momentarily. For me, it’s a toss up between her and Cameron Diaz for Sex Tape.

On the subject of least convincing roles, Lizzy Caplan certainly fit that bill as a CIA agent for her role in The Interview. She should have been nominated for worst supporting actress.

Jonathan Liebesman directed some good scenes in TMNT, which I think is way over-represented in the Razzie noms. (yes, that movie surprised me).  There’s no way that Frank Coraci (Blended), Jake Kasdan (Sex Tape) or Evan Goldberg & Seth Rogen (The Interview) should have been left out–especially the latter. The Interview feels like two different films pasted together with Elmer’s School Glue.

If A Million Ways to Die is not a worst pic nominee because it looks better than it deserves, then TMNT should not be there either.  Forget giving Kirk Cameron an extra 15 minutes of fame, also.  Voters, you were able to sit through Blended, Sex Tape, A Haunted House 2 and Legends of Oz: Dorothy’s Return better than the movies you nominated.

Transcendence and The Interview both definitely deserved screenplay noms.

This year, The Razzies introduced the Razzie Redeemer Award, which I believe is a clumsy way of trying to get stars to appear at a decades-old institution award ceremony.  A better way of honoring these types of movies and performances is to recognize those with the best potential of cult movie greatness. If I were nominating, the movie with the best cult potential would be Left Behind, an unintentional laugh-riot that stands apart from other films like Legends of Oz: Dorothy’s Return, which to me is literally unwatchable. Honor those actors who you would watch regardless of how good or bad a movie is. My first two nominees for that category would be Nicolas Cage and Sigourney Weaver.

We’ll return online soon with the next episode of Mediatrocities to discuss these nominees!

 

 

 

Internet Hater Chris Dodd Wants Technology to Help Boost Sagging Theater Attendance

ChrisDodd

by Legendary Lew

Variety reports that last year, attendance for the 18-24 year-old age bracket in movie theaters dropped like a stone. It’s serious because, you know, everyone else is dead and will never benefit from films aimed toward them:

The number of frequent moviegoers in the all-important 18-24 age group plunged an unprecedented 21% in 2013, according to MPAA annual statistics released Tuesday at Cinemacon, while attendance in the 12-17 age bracket also saw a precipitous drop off, falling almost 15%.

Frequent filmgoers from 12-24 are likely spending much of their previous moviegoing time watching a variety of other screens.

Well, heavens to Betsy, whatever shall a bloated, non-innovative, money-wasting, inefficient, money-gouging, hypocritical corporate entity do?!

I know! Call in MPAA head Chris Dodd to give the industry a pep talk:

“We need to keep exploring fresh ways of leveraging our new technology to drive traffic to your theaters,” Dodd insisted during his keynote address delivered Tuesday at CinemaCon in Las Vegas.

“We can embrace technology, and use it to complement our offerings,” Dodd added.

I practically shat blood laughing so hard when reading these statements. This is the same Chris Dodd that backed the SOPA and PIPA legislations–so much so that he extorted the White House to try and have its support. SOPA and PIPA would have destroyed the internet as we know it with opposition to the legislation coming from internet companies that regularly help Hollywood promote its films. The public response to Dodd and SOPA/PIPA supporters was a whole lot of this.

It’s also the same Chris Dodd that supported the arrest of Kim Dotcom, only to have the case against him implode over embarrassing allegations, not the least of which was Dotcom’s assertion that he was ready to start a legally-created IPO with MegaUpload. (Dotcom’s new company, Mega, has since created an IPO in New Zealand)

Now, Dodd wants to urge the industry to use technology, i.e the internet, to boost theater tix sales.  Never mind that he tried to explode it a couple of years ago and will, no doubt, try again, unless Dodd has some other new type of technology he wants to introduce to the world.  Oh wait, I forgot, Hollywood doesn’t have one.

Next time Chris Dodd gives a speech, I suggest this type of formal attire.

 

 

TUGM Guest Stars on Heave Media for the Annual Razzies Podcast

by Legendary Lew

There were more than 43 reasons to hate Worst Picture Razzie winner "Movie 43"

There were more than 43 reasons to hate Worst Picture Razzie winner “Movie 43″

TUGM’s Tyler Pistorius and Lew Ojeda were guests on Heave Media’s annual report on The Razzies, hosted by Dominick Mayer. Head on over to Heave Media to listen to this scintillating discussion and don’t say we didn’t warn Hollywood about next year.