Tag Archives: satire

BREAKING: Roy Moore Taps Milo Yiannopoulos for Campaign

Roy Moore

Milo Yiannopoulos

by Ida Dunnett

Roy Moore, the Alabama Republican candidate for senate, has asked controversial “alt-right” celebrity Milo Yiannopoulos to campaign for him statewide. This comes just after a fifth woman came forward to accuse the embattled candidate of sexual assault.

“I don’t generally tap into young people,” Moore explained, “but I think this is a good opportunity to take advantage of what Milo has to offer my campaign.”

Yiannopoulos, who is openly gay, recently resigned from his senior editor position at Breitbart News after a video surfaced where he defended sexual relationships between 13 year-olds and adult men and women. Breitbart News, in contrast, has continued to support Moore.

Moore has also condemned homosexuality as a “crime against nature” and compared it to bestiality.

For his part, Yiannopoulos finds his involvement as a positive development.

“I think Roy Moore could be great influence on young people.” he said in a statement. “For teenagers, there’s no doubt Moore would be the perfect fit.”

When asked about the potential conflicts of having Yiannopoulos speaking on behalf of his campaign, Moore defended the decision.

“Milo knows he is sinful, which is something I wish all homosexuals would understand.” Moore stated. “He has the potential of bringing very young people into the campaign. The witch hunt against me by some Republicans are from the very old. Guys who’ve been there forever. I want them younger, much younger. I want them young.”

Moore is facing multiple allegations of sexual assault from women who claimed the abuses occurred when some of them were as young as fourteen years old. The candidate has denied the charges against him.

Should he win the election, Moore has promised a position for the provocateur.

“The first job he’ll have is to give the Senate office a makeover.”

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Latest Entertainment for Donald Trump’s Inauguration Announced

by Legendary Lew

I’m “proud” to announce the latest entertainers to join the Inauguration Day ceremonies. Here’s a video of one of their previous performances. It promises to make the day quite special.

BREAKING: Rich Donor Eviscerates Jeb Bush for SC Loss; Demanded He Quit Race (NSFW)

jeb-bush-logo-hed-2015

Courtesy: Ad Week

by Legendary Lew

The Underground Multiplex has uncovered a never-before publicized voicemail recording left by a Jeb Bush donor angry at his poor campaign performance.

Dolly Dentura, CEO of Dentura Enterprises, funded Jeb Bush’s campaign almost single-handedly and in the voicemail recording discovered by Legendary Lew, she berates the former Florida governor for his poor performance.

In a profanity-laced tirade, Dentura exclaims that Bush was a “big, fat mistake” a quote she attributes to Donald Trump, who she disdainfully refers to as “Chief Orange Hair.”

Dentura also had choice words for former First Lady Barbara Bush, who she blames for talking her into giving the famed son the millions of dollars that ended up “in the toilet.”

The voicemail recording reflects the frustration many rich Republican donors have had with a number of Republican presidential candidates, many of whom spent millions of dollars on their failed campaigns.

Click below to listen to the irate voicemail recording left at the Jeb Bush 2016 office:

SNL’s “Cut” Ferguson Sketch Shows NBC Knows TV’s Dwindling Importance

Kip (Kenan Thompson) and Jenny (Cecily Strong) try getting through a horrible news morning on their sunny TV show. Courtesy: NBC/YouTube

Kip (Kenan Thompson) and Jenny (Cecily Strong) try getting through a horrible news morning on their sunny TV show. Courtesy: NBC/YouTube

by Legendary Lew

This past weekend, NBC cut a sketch from Saturday Night Live that it claimed the long-running series did not have time to perform.  The comedy bit in question was the airing of a local St. Louis happy morning “news” show called “Rise and Smile St. Louis.” Co-hosts Kip and Jenny (Kenan Thompson and Cecily Strong) struggle to make it through the show the morning after riots rocked Ferguson.

Although, there certainly will be buzz over whether the network was too nervous to show the sketch, its airing on television, I think, is a moot point, especially when the bit made it online to YouTube and will be eventually be watched by more people than it would have on just TV alone.

A bigger point to raise is that it did get released publicly online while Ferguson, Eric Garner’s death and further issues of police brutality are fresh in the public’s mind.  Think Progress astutely points out this is a rare instance when SNL goes for a controversial and deeply evocative emotional issue head on.  If Jon Stewart didn’t know what to say, SNL sure did and did so terrifically:

The skit reminded me of some political comedy classics recorded on vinyl back in Charlie Manna - Rise & Fall Of The Great Societythe late 1960s and early 70s, when LP’s were practically the only serious outlet for very biting social commentary like this.  One of the few examples I could find of a comedy sketch on rioting done while the memories were still fresh was “Park Avenue Riots” by comic Charlie Manna and co-written by future “All in the Family” writer Michael Ross.

In fact, the other major TV parallel example of riot satire I could think of is the famed Harry Belafonte appearance on “The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour” in 1968. Singing a medley of some of his famous tunes beginning with “Don’t Stop the Carnival,” the lyrics were reworked to match scenes of the the Chicago 1968 Democratic National Convention and riots, which had taken place only a few weeks prior.

CBS snipped this performance from the show and eventually the Brothers’ legendary fight with the network’s censorship issues led the network to break their contract and cancel the series.

Contrast the network’s decision with today: Belafonte’s performance could not be seen for many years. The SNL skit, however, can be seen online and shared freely. NBC may be nervous about airing it on a medium with older audiences, but understands how younger viewers consume their media. This understanding is, in fact, blurted out by Jenny in the morning show when she castigates Chef Darrell (SNL guest host James Franco) for inappropriate comments he makes while cooking up a frittata:

“Too late. You said it, and now we’re all on YouTube forever.”

NBC didn’t “cut the skit” for time. They knew it would live with a longer life of its own online, and indeed it does with currently over 2 million hits on YouTube. That popularity is another indication that TV, in its traditional form, is a dying medium. It needs the reach and relevance of the world wide web to be vital to young audiences and to provide voices and views that counter the mainstream.

“Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” Cancelled by TLC. Strike That Line! Predicted It!

The future Baby Jane Hudson

The future Baby Jane Hudson

by Legendary Lew

According to TMZ, “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” star mama June had a bit of trouble with her dating preferences, choosing a convicted child molester to fulfill her needs and Phil Robertson’s moral standards.

The Learning Channel, unable to learn from what should have been a somewhat predictable common sense disaster in the making, reacted thusly:

And so, “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” is no more. It seems a shame to stop production, since you could have titled a potential new series, “To Catch a Predator’s Boo Boo.”

Oh well, looks like Honey Boo Boo will have to head the ways of Baby Jane Hudson by going insane and starving her sister to death in sixty years. But for now, you can hear how Strike That Line! predicted a catastrophe for fame hungry no talents in the episode “Tinkle Tinkle Little Star.”

Mitt Romney Postpones His Concession Speech to Take a Dump

 

I was thoroughly surprised for about a good solid 18 minutes when I had learned from my reliable source that Mitt Romney decided to postpone his concession speech, one that I had expected on Wednesday night. Romney instead decided to take a Friday dump about his taxes with the hope that the media would clean up the mess. I understand that there was heated debate regarding the release of the tax returns between Trustee Brad Malt and one of Romney’s trusted advisers, Jacob Barley Malt (no relation).

Another reason given to me for the concession postponement was the Romneys’ tanning session. Mitt had decided to try bronzer for his appeal to Latinos during a Univision appearance (see picture above). Ann, on the other hand, chose to go all in at a local tanning salon with this being the result:

 

It might be one of the reasons why Mitt wanted Ann to appear less often on the stump.

My apologies for the premature news regarding the concession. As soon as I can get verifiable news from my trusted source, I will be certain to pass along the information.

Lew

‘The Onion’: Gay Bullied Teen in ‘Satire’ Invented ‘Like All Other Gays’

Gay rights groups today are asking the satirical magazine The Onion to apologize for what they perceive is an insensitive joke regarding bullying. However, a representative of the satirical news magazine stated today that the gay teen serving as the center of the controversial article was “completely invented,  like all other gays.”

News editor Tess Tossterohn made the statement while talking with TUGM at Sidewinders, which she described as an “all-male club of married men enjoying each other’s company.”

Asked about the controversy, Tossterohn replied, “We took every effort to make sure this satire was fair and balanced. The Onion compiled the advice of such diverse groups as NOM (National Organization for Marriage), PFOX (Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays), Exodus International, The Catholic Church, The Mormon Church, GOProud. We really went the distance.”

She also added that The Onion had no plans on making apologies, as the child posing in the article was in no way harmed. “He (the actor) didn’t even know what a faggot was. We were the ones who called him that 43 times to get him to convey the mood captured on camera. His character was completely invented, like all other gays and this article will simply be a phase he’s going through.”

“If he wasn’t affected by this, we don’t see how anyone else could be.” she said.